version française ici or back to the pictures
Text read in finn by Arno Raphaël Minkkinen
I have to do something that escape from ordinary. I want to meet a lot of people, feel things. Things that could scare me, that obliges me to shake myself. I don’t know, where I can have the wish to scream. This cans hurt me or be good to me, this is what make me feel alive.
If I fall in a such kind of routine, I, fuck, I’m bored, I am really bored, it’s horrible.
I travel to without travelling, I meet some people, I discover things I didn’t know. People tell me stories. It’s out of control, I find myself in situations I never thought, I don’t know what can happened to me, I don’t know nothing.
Before, I woke up in the morning, fuck, I told myself “why should I wake up, I don’t wanna go”. Everything was too predictable.
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Text read in hebrew by Shira Igell
It’s always moving, at least it’s been a year I’ve been moving, I feel like stopping somewhere. I feel like settling. I really like uncertainty, what I don’t know, getting away from routine.
Arriving in a place… but not straightaway… at first I don’t like it… I’d sooner stay alone…but then I love it. It needs a base… it’s a return trip between, I think… so, it can be good if you’ve got a base. When it’s not good, I start going all over the place and then…never find my way again, like. In your everyday life, you can put places off all the time, leave… then I realise that I don’t have to go far.
When I arrived in that country, I wondered what I was doing there, like, I mean it was really pretty violent. Like, the first couple of weeks I really wondered what I was doing there… I don’t know how to say it… like, turned up, I was thrown into a totally different world, with a different language, then you feel another continent… it’s really strong. It’s bigger, vaster… the body… the way it moves… it’s really surprising.
I was a bit bowled over… taken by the place… and I realised that you can change your life in three months… that it was possible to break from your former life. If ever you decide to stop living with someone or to give up your job, to quit the well-worn path, like, it’s possible… in three month you can rebuild things, a new start.
I understood this when I came back, and I felt like I was thrown here, back in a new place… my boyfriend had just moved to a new town. I was thrown into this new place and… once again… what am I doing here? Is this really my place? Finally, it’s something new. And then, bit by bit, you get used to it. Routine gives a sort of meaning, you choose your routine. Finally I chose to stay. Afterwards, we left again, four months later. Then, it was OK because I had my bearings in this town. And so we had to uproot again, move. Well, happy to discover a new town, new places, a kind of carte blanche, do your thing, do all sorts of stuff. I stayed three days and now, here I am.
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Text read in french by Violaine Chaussonnet
Do something else, be somewhere else.
Move around, take my car and go somewhere, travel. I go from one place to another. You’ve got to make the trip. I take my time. I sleep a bit. I go for a walk. I stroll, even if I know I’ve got an appointment, I take my time. I sleep somewhere, outdoors, in a field.
I move. The movement comes because keeping still is scary, heavy, routine. It’s really scary. The slightest everyday gesture repeated becomes almost sickening.
And that’s why I changed town, because I knew everything. I knew everybody, all the bars, all the parties, all that stuff, so what else could I do? That’s why I took off, even if after all it was comfortable, because I didn’t want to repeat stuff. There comes a time you can’t handle that any more.
I can’t stay here, I can’t stay here, it’s not possible. Got to go. You’ve got to move, not stay still. You’ve got to learn. I’m worth more than that, it’s not possible, I’ve got to do something.
I don’t have enough space.
With my friends, I’m always disappointed. I’d like them to be better, smarter, more understanding, that we could be closer. I’m disappointed. I’m going to check out other places. Things get worn out so quick. I move, because otherwise, I don’t know what’s going to become of me.
I don’t know what I’m doing here. I didn’t want to be at my place. But I had to be somewhere and this somewhere is here for the moment. I don’t want to be in my life where I am. I want to be somewhere else.
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Text read in german by Gregor Beltzig
You’ve got to find your own way.
I travel a lot. Moving from… I travel a lot because I’m looking for stories, things to be interested in.
I haven’t yet found a place that suits me, where I can settle for a while, find a story and… and stick to it. Coming here, it’s like the last stop before settling down for a while.
I’ve moved around a lot, really a lot. I love that but… I travel so much, nothing is ever finished, but I don’t want to stop. I think it’s a thrill thing, a quest. There’s so much to see… I tell myself that if I travel a lot, I could then come back to the place I like best and even stay there, for ever. This will be my place.
I don’t want to settle down, live some place and pretend to be happy because that’s what’s usually done, what you’re supposed to do. And me, I not always happy, most of time not happy at all, but I… I tell myself I have the right to search, to go from one place to another.
I like to be a foreigner, to be open to the things.
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Text read in english by Lisa Wiltse
What am I escaping from? In a way …. I’m running away from alienation, from this feeling. I felt like a foreigner in my country so I said to myself “You’ve got to go because its not good to be like this.”.
And so I left, hoping that the alienation would be more pleasant. Of course I was a foreigner over there and I remain a foreigner here too. So, its nicer to feel disconnected in a place where you are a foreigner than in your own country.
I ran for two years. I felt detached and misunderstood probably. In my country I went away… went to the desert for three and a half months. Because I was running away. I had a really stable life at the age of twenty. I fell in love with a man and we stayed together five years. We were living together in this town. I was doing my photos and he was doing his thing. Then that all came to an end. He left me for really bad reasons.
When he left me I went off into the desert for three months and decided I had to get into something else because I am too sensitive, I know it. I had to find a way to get out of this country I had to find a way to do something with my life. Its never obvious. Is it obvious for you to stay alive ? Breathing, moving that seems obvious but for me it isn’t. Dying could be a solution, I don’t know. There is no stability, now I know it.
I don’t want to be there, I am done with that place. Over there they judge me. They expect a lot of me. I have left and they expected it to be for something better.
Everything moves to fast and in a way that’s to extreme. I don’t want any other relationship with anybody. I don’t believe in it anymore, I want to get away. It’s a really horrible feeling, I love being abroad. Feeling like a foreigner at home is bad.
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Text read in italian by Camilla Pongiglione
I force myself to do stuff, I wouldn’t do it otherwise. What I want I make it possible. I get away from normal life, that way I stay interesting, young, I don’t know, that lets me be not reasonable.
Right now I’m here. I don’t come from here, it’s not logical to come here at thirty and start all over again… I have to learn a totally new language, start all over from the beginning.
It’s more interesting to take risks. When I’m old, I’ll have stories to tell. I won’t talk about all those days when I had to go to the office and work. My life is more interesting like this. It’s a way of doing things. I let myself do things I wouldn’t do otherwise.
I hadn’t planned to come here. If tomorrow I want to go away for three months and if I have the money, I can do it. And afterwards no-one cans ask me why I went away. I won’t have to explain, to find reasons to justify this wandering.